MORE GOD: A SHORT STORY
His first contact with God was when he was a small boy, and he likened it to the moment Adam was created by God, as captured by Michelangelo in his famous painting. His experience of it was just like that picture, where the tips of the index fingers of Adam and God are touching.
Unfortunately, that one moment, that one instance, was not enough for him. He didn't want a peephole, as the tip of index fingers represented, but a portal to God.
The trouble was, as he grew older the outside world, if not his own developing egoic self, strangled off what little access he seemed to have to God.
He was raised a Christian, but for him Christianity was not sufficient. College courses he took in Buddhism, Hinduism, Jainism, and Taoism, filled in the gap somewhat, but again, only to a point.
He majored in psychology and that played a part, in as much as it told him why he had such a longing to begin with, why he had such a need for God. It had something to do with his father possibly, that unsatisfactory relationship. It was part of it at least, he convinced himself, but only one piece, and then no piece at all.
His employment after college was in theatre, film, and television, it so happened, first as a carpenter and then as a rigger. He was intrigued by how things worked behind the scenes, what made things tick, when what he was really trying to find out was what made him tick, if not what made the world, existence tick. He could somehow get more access to God that way maybe.
He became a novelist next, six novels to his credit, although none was published. He didn't push hard to get his books published because they were all tales of Buddhism, or so they turned out to be, but, sadly, not particularly entertaining tales of Buddhism. And anyway, they were not the point, as he reminded himself again and again, not what he was really trying to get at.
By the end of it all, he had achieved quite a lot in his life, experienced quite a bit, and all with a moderate amount of success. His lack of total success was for the simple reason that none of what he had done was really him, was who he really was. Who he really was, was Adam. What he really wanted was God, more God.
Unfortunately, that one moment, that one instance, was not enough for him. He didn't want a peephole, as the tip of index fingers represented, but a portal to God.
The trouble was, as he grew older the outside world, if not his own developing egoic self, strangled off what little access he seemed to have to God.
He was raised a Christian, but for him Christianity was not sufficient. College courses he took in Buddhism, Hinduism, Jainism, and Taoism, filled in the gap somewhat, but again, only to a point.
He majored in psychology and that played a part, in as much as it told him why he had such a longing to begin with, why he had such a need for God. It had something to do with his father possibly, that unsatisfactory relationship. It was part of it at least, he convinced himself, but only one piece, and then no piece at all.
His employment after college was in theatre, film, and television, it so happened, first as a carpenter and then as a rigger. He was intrigued by how things worked behind the scenes, what made things tick, when what he was really trying to find out was what made him tick, if not what made the world, existence tick. He could somehow get more access to God that way maybe.
He became a novelist next, six novels to his credit, although none was published. He didn't push hard to get his books published because they were all tales of Buddhism, or so they turned out to be, but, sadly, not particularly entertaining tales of Buddhism. And anyway, they were not the point, as he reminded himself again and again, not what he was really trying to get at.
By the end of it all, he had achieved quite a lot in his life, experienced quite a bit, and all with a moderate amount of success. His lack of total success was for the simple reason that none of what he had done was really him, was who he really was. Who he really was, was Adam. What he really wanted was God, more God.
posted by Donald L. Simons at
6:23 PM
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