MOVING TARGET: A SHORT STORY

When asked whether he really believed all the things he wrote in his blog, he said, "Yes, except when I don't."  This was because spirituality, at least for him, was a moving target.

Whenever he lost his spiritual connection, he need only remind himself that "the kingdom of God is within you,” as Jesus put it.  It was right there in front of him.  His not seeing it was because other things, people, events, ideas, had gotten in the way.

St. Augustine said that if he could only remain permanently in the spiritual state, it would be something extraordinary.  He said unfortunately his “sad weight,” i.e. being human, made him “fall back again to where I am swallowed up by normality;” other things got in the way.

The elusiveness of spirituality was what the poem “Dark Night of the Soul” by St. John of the Cross was about.  There were periods, at times lasting for years, when a person felt adrift spiritually.  The "dark night" of St. Paul of the Cross in the 18th century, for example, lasted 45 years, from which he ultimately recovered.  Mother Teresa of Calcutta was likely the most extensive such case on record, her crisis lasting from 1948 almost up until her death in 1997, with only brief interludes of relief between.

The problem, as this blogger knew, was being engaged in the world, his solution, to not be engaged in the world, called in Vedanta detachment, renunciation, purification.  And then turning within.  He was successful at this more than he was not successful at it, which was why what he wrote in his blog he believed more often than he didn’t.  But all of it was still a moving target.