FORGETTING TO REMEMBER

Forgetting to remember has become a problem for me.  I need to remember to remember more.  But remember what?  That I no longer exist.

No longer existing is a state much coveted by Buddhists, the “blowing out” of self as the Buddha termed it.  I still exist physically, this is to say, but my egoic self, my idea of myself, is gone.  Egoic selves are an identity, anathema to us Buddhists.

But what is not understood  is that it takes years to come about.  There are Buddhists who never do experience it.  The reason is, they think it is achieved intellectually when it is the opposite.

I was not prepared for it, not as such, when it happened to me, even though I have known of it for centuries.  But, alas, my egoic self has collapsed now, has toppled over, has imploded, and quite convincingly so.  There is no more me.